Heta looked apprehensive, "how did we get all the way over by Bellis Fair mall?"
She shrugged. I've got to keep these retards busy long enough so I can get away . . . I can't let them figure out that I'm not really Brandii, she thought.
Rai-chan yawned. "Too greasy." She glanced at Brandii-who-was-not-really-Brandii. "You look rather tasty."
She waved her hands in front of her frantically, "nononononononononononononono, don't, I'm so thin and gamy."
Sammy licked her lips in a crazed frenzy of hunger! "I liiikkkee gamy."
"Stop, stop stop!" Said Heta-chan. "Please don't eat this poor excuse for a sentient being! What makes her deserve treatment like this??"
"Heta-chan, you said something intelligent!!" Exclaimed Sammy. "Good for you, you're getting better!!"
'Brandii' grinned with utter evil. The three girls stared at her as they stepped closer to the doors of McDonald's. Rai-chan asked, "ummm, Brandii, why is it that you're grinning with utter evil?"
"Because I am!! I will kill you foolish humans!!!!!"
"Oroka na ningen o korose," commented Heta.
"Shut up!! That's what I said!!!!" Brandii grabbed Heta around the neck and strangled her. Sammy-chan and Rai jumped back as power shot this way and that . . . they could no longer see Heta, for she and the evil Brandii were completely engulfed in a strange blue light. When it finally subsided, Heta was on the ground unconscious, and Brandii was nowhere to be seen.
That was a good way to get out of there, Brandii thought cleverly. She would wait here in the darkness of Hot Topic until a time when she could further attack . . . Fna would be most pleased.
Meanwhile, Rai-chan and Sammy-chan rushed to Heta-chan's side. "Hold on!" They gasped in shock when they got a good look at her. Her clothes had changed!! She was now wearing a Calvin Klein shirt and Old Navy jeans!!!!!
She stirred. "What happened?" She whispered hoarsely.
"Brandii attacked . . . I guess she must have been some sort of evil minion of Fna," explained Sammy-chan.
"Aw, man . . . my cool clothes are gone," Heta said as she sat up slowly. "Guess I'll have to call Caluna."
Rai and Sammy stepped back a pace. "Whooo?" They had twisted expressions on their faces, trying very hard to understand. Heta rose to her feet, and in great pain, she explained. "Caluna is my cabbit. She was created in the same lab as I was, out of a cat named Luna and some kid's pet rabbit . . . they were calling her Cabbitluna, but I shortened it to Caluna. Before I escaped from the lab, the scientists told me that whenever something bad happened, I could call on Caluna and she would fix me. I can also speak to her telepathically."
Rai-chan was beginning to be interested. "How do you call her?"
"Like this," Heta responded. "CCCCCCCAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNAAAAAAA!!!!!!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.
A black bunny-cat thing came scampering up at warp speeds. "Meow mya nyan miaou!!" It said.
"It got confused with English, Japanese, and French," explained Heta-chan. She grabbed an object that it held in it's mouth and gently pulled it away. It appeared to be a hammer. "ESP Hammerspace Zoot Suit Ice Riot!!!" She cried, holding up the small blue object, useless for all purposes as a hammer.(cue music: Zettai Unmei Mokushiroku)After the odd, chanting song was over, Heta-chan stood before them, looking as good as new. "I guess from now on, I'll have to keep Caluna with me . . . who knows what Fna will come up with next."
Good choice, Heta, good choice, Caluna commented inside Heta's mind.
Thank you. I knew you would save me.
Caluna meowed happily. Her friends smiled, oblivious to the exchange. As Caluna took a comfortable place on Heta-chan's shoulder, they all walked into McDonald's.
The three girls entered the McDonalds. Little did they know that a greasy death awaited them.
"Thank you for rescuing me, Lord Wallace Kami," The girl nicknamed Brandii said.
"Think nothing of it. I saw great potential in you when I saw how you handled that stupid girl. Now here is the plan. The three girls have entered the restaurant. We shall fix this joint up in order to kill then. Now, I have to leave for a little while. I shall leave you here with my Psyduck."
"Psyduck," Psyduck said in response.
"As you wish, Lord Wallace Kami," Brandii said while kneeling. With that, Wallace Kami disappeared. "Now I shall prepare. First of all I shall awaken the sleeping monster that lives in the grease. MOON REVENGE!" With those words the sleeping grease monster awoke.
"Happy Birthday!" it said.
"Oh crap, I woke up the sleeping Frosty the Snowman!" Brandii said disgustedly. "Lets try that again. Pokeball, GO!" With that the "real" sleeping grease monster awoke. "Now go Greasy! And attack those stupid Anti-Fna lovers!"
The monster obeyed and oozed out and parts of it entered every burger. Soon people started to fall left and right.
"What�s wrong with these people? They are eating the burgers and falling to the ground. I expect this kind of behavior at Jack In The Box but not here!" Shouted Rai-Chan.
"Yeah I agree!" agreed Heta-Chan.
"Hey guys, do you think P-Chan would taste good?" Sammy-Chan asked. The other two face faulted.
"WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!" A voice laughed. "Hello. It is me, the girl you left behind! Brandii. After I hid in Hot Topic, Lord Wallace Kami came and saved me. He has given me a small portion of the power of Fna! I shall use it on you." She paused. The three girls waited.
Nothing happened.
Even Greasy came out from the burgers and people�s mouths and looked at Brandii.
Brandii farted.
After that, there was a continued silence. All that could be heard in the back ground was a voice on one of the TVs saying, "All girls get the bowl cuts!"
"Oh, sorry... Uh, go Greasy, and attack!"
The giant grease monster knew it couldn't hurt the girls, so it grabbed P-Chan from out of nowhere and left. The girls tried but could not keep up to it.
Hours later in a secret fortress under a secret park in a secret country blah blah blah... The grease monster reappeared. It handed P-Chan over into the arms on Ranma. Around Ranma were Kunou, Kodachi, and Shampoo.
"You need no worry! Shampoo not going to hurt you. We just going to make you one of us! Prepare the brain washing machine!"
MEANWHILE, BACK AT MCDONALDS:
"Stupid monster! Fine, I shall have to attack you!"
The imposter Brandii's eyes glinted with impending evil. Her hand slowly raised up to her shoulder, her hand curled into a tight fist and her index finger extended upward. The other's stood, stuck still with fear and anticipation, awaiting the inevitable attack as the "Brandii" smirked evilly.
She twisted a small strand of her golden blond hair around her extended finger and closed her eyes. "Hehe, oops. I don't know what my power is. Um, I seemed to have forgotten to ask Wallace-Kami what it was. Teehee!" She giggled with an air-headed, typical blond laugh.
That's when they heard the explosion.
The McDonalds manager ran into the bathroom screaming "No! Not again!" But when he reached the restrooms he realized that they were now the only thing left perfectly intact. He stood looking relieved and confused. "Hmm, well�at least it wasn't that toilet bombing kid, again." Back inside the restaurant, the roof was now completely blown off, revealing a gigantic opening were the ceiling once was.
"What was that???" Heta cried.
"The roof blew off, obviously." Stated Sammy, who was just now beginning to wonder about Heta-chan's intelligence.
"Caluna! That's not a very nice thing to say about Sammy-Chan!" A hurt Sammy-chan and a stunned Rai-chan looked at Heta.
"Myow, nya!" Caluna verbalized before telepathically protesting to Heta I didn't say ANYTHING about Sammy-chan!
Heta mentally smirked, I know that.
"Look!!!" Shouted Rai-chan, pointing to where the roof once was. The three-some, one cabbit, a lazy grease monster, and the imposter Brandii (who had been filing her nails the whole time the good guys were talking) all stared upwards. A thick cloud of white rose petals swirled down towards the ground and two mysterious figures appeared in its place. On the left was a well-built, red-haired girl wearing a pigtail. To the right, there was a clean-shaven guy with short hair. Both were fairly close in height (though the guy may have been almost an inch taller). The two were wearing similar outfits and they were both striking impressive poses. Caluna was taking this all in as she scrutinized the new arrivals. But she was concentrating on their unusual outfits. Both wore jackets of greenish blue, and very light yellow shirts. There was something written on the shirts, but she couldn't quite tell what it was. The girl wore a knee-length, flailing skirt that was the same color as the guy�s full length pants, which was also the same color as their jackets and tennis shoes. Their shirts were the same color as their socks. Plus the guy wore a strange pink disemboweled rabbit's foot around his neck and he held a four-leaf clover in his hands. Caluna had just finished taking all this in when they finally spoke. In verse style they alternated lines:
"This galaxy we explore.."
"HUH???" A collective 'huh' came from everyone in the room.
"Um�are you good guys or bad guys?" asked Heta-chan.
"Yeah, you don't sound like you know, either - I mean, you�re dressed like good guys, and you have a group-name-thingy going on, but your speech sounds mixed up!" Rai-chan pointed out. The pair jumped down to the ground. Caluna could now see clearly the writing on their shirts - a large 'S' with a small 'C' through the middle of it. And there was a patch on their jackets with the same symbol on it.
"Actually, we don't really care who wins, we're just in it for the money!" Rhiannhon said with a sly smile.
"Yeah!" Steven agreed, "We plan on working for whoever can get us the most cash."
"Which means we'll probably work for the bad guys - after all, how much can you really make as a superhero? And besides, the bad guys are usually the ones with the most power and control - making them the most noticeable market-wise. We only came up with this whole "Cyclone Squad" thing just because we knew that, regardless of the part we play in this whole 'FNA' fight, anyone who's involved in this will be able to get rich off of the inevitable merchandising!" Rhiannhon and Steven both laughed with shared semi-maniacal, greedy laughter.
"You two are insane!" Sammy-chan exclaimed!
"Actually," Rai-chan noted, "They're quite correct, and rather clever. It's true that whoever is involved with this will be a big hit with advertisers. And by choosing to be bipartisan, that leaves them more open then the rest of us. The heroes have a secret identity to keep hidden, and the bad guys have to hide to keep from being caught. They are the only ones that have any chance of making an money off of this."
"Rai-chan," Heta-chan couldn't believe her ears. "Don't praise they're plans, they aren't going to be working for us!"
"Yes, but they could," Rai-chan responded, "When the fight is nearing the end, if it looks like we're going to win, they could simply switch to our-side for the final defeat and rake in the 'good guy' winnings."
"Rai-chan!!!" Heta looked like she had a worse headache then Wallace-kami's psyduck..
"Brandii..." a small voice came from behind them. Rhiannhon turned around and saw that the Imposter Brandii (who was standing behind her) was the one who uttered the word.
"B..BLONDIE!?!?!?!?" Rhiannhon shrieked and looked like she was going to have a heart attack! "What are YOU doing here?!?!"
"Oh, no! Now everyone knows my REAL name isn't Brandii!" The imposter formally known as "Brandii" (now known to be actually named "Blondie") looked frightened.
"Why were you using my middle name?" asked Rhiannhon.
"Because I hated always living in YOUR shadow. You were ALWAYS smarter than me, and I hated it! The blond stereotypes and jokes were made worse by my name and the fact that I couldn't live up to your intelligence!" Blondie was now crying.
"I think I can understand that." Rhiannhon looked down. "I was always insulted by those dumb blond stereotypes, that's why I dyed my hair red."
Steven looked shocked - "You, you dye your hair?!?!? Ew, how can you stand to live with yourself, dying your hair just to avoid those stupi' stereotypes."
Rhiannhon gave him one of her 'look-to-kill' looks. "Look who's talking luck-boy! You can't even knock-over a bottle of salt without freaking out!"
"Um...I hate to interrupt you guys, but I'm afraid we _were_ in the middle of a fight here. And I have a lot of homework to get to tonight, so..." Heta lied about the homework, now that the school was destroyed. But she did want to get out of there.
"Well," Blondie piped up. "I'm sure there's a place in Wallace-Kami's legion for my twin sister!"
"TWIN SISTER!!??!!" Mouths dropped around the room.
"Yeah, isn't it obvious?" The pair asked in unison.
"That's fine with me...just tell us how much we'll be paid!" Steven was already mentally counting his riches.
"Alright, Gadget...I mean� oh, whoever you good guys are - I'll let you all go for today. But I'll be back, and I'll get you guys next time! NEXT TIME!!!"
"Wait!" Rhiannhon said, "I have to call our cat! Oh CHRISTINA!!" The happy Persian came bounding up and jumped on Rhiannhon's shoulder.
"Well, looks like The Cyclone Squad is blast'n off for today. Bye guys! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hey - this bad guy stuff is fun!"
"Isn't it though?" Blondie agreed.
"But we aren't signing any contracts or anything!" Steven put in. The trio took off, and from behind the words "CYCLONE SQUAD" (which were printed on the back of their jackets) were the last things anyone saw as the bad guys went out of sight.
"Oh greeeeeeeat!" Said Rai-chan, "that didn't take _too_ long, did it?"
"Yeah, it felt like that fight lasted a week!" Heta-chan agreed. They turned away the ruins of what was once a great and proud restaurant. The manager was still in the bathroom, scratching his head.
"We'll show the way.."
"And then even more.."
"Turn night into day.."
"We're setting the score.."
"Rhiannhon!"
"Steven!"
"WE'RE �THE CYCLONE SQUAD!� And we're here to stay!"
